St. Pete ... HERE WE COME!!!

We're relocating to outside of Tampa! I've been waiting for over a month to post this. I didn't want to give confirmation before it's official. I have a job and a reservation for Noah at a school so I feel it's official. There are many reasons as to why we are making this move (I believe the sheet Lonnie and I made when we were still in the 'deciding process' was 2 pages long). I figured the best way was to compare the areas.

1. Jobs: I started job searching back in February, I applied everywhere I could find which consisted of 4-5 places. Only one called me in for an interview in which a week after my hire date ended. At that point, we had already started making plans to possibly relocate but there wasn't anything but I could apply for anyway.

I applied for 30-40 jobs in the Tampa area; I could have applied for more but I was exhausted from doing the application process repetitively. Also, the calls/e-mails started to roll in. The job selection seemed endless for call center jobs. The best part is that most of them were in the location I was planning on residing.

2. Location/Gas Money: We lived in the area we did because the schools, lower rent, and the crime rate was much lower. However, living in that area meant that any job I got would be in Jacksonville (there were only 2 call centers in our area; I've applied to both numerous times). The distance of driving to Jacksonville combined with the horrible gas mileage of our Explorer resulted in paying an average of $500 a month in gas. Going to the beach from our area was over an hour drive. If we wanted to do the few things Jacksonville had to offer (the zoo, Adventure Landing, Shipwreck Island, or ... well, I think that's it) it was an hour drive also.

Even if most jobs hadn't been in the area we were looking to live, Tampa is only a 20 minute drive. With the jobs being in my area, I'll be paying a 1/4 of what I was before, a monthly saving of $375. The jobs, schools, housing, hospitals, doctors, and services for Noah are all in the same proximity. We're only 15 minutes from the beach, and activities in the Tampa area are less than a 30 minute drive. The activities consist of the zoo, aquarium, Dinosaur World, Celebration Station, Busch Gardens,  and Adventure Island. Attractions that are slightly over an hour away or less is Disney World, Sea World, Legoland, Universal Studios, and Islands of Adventure. I'm sure there are more things I haven't discovered yet. I'm constantly learning new things we can do as a family. I love that a lot of them offer annual prices at a very low rate! Fun all year long :)

3. Doctors: I've had to switch the older kids' pediatricians multiple times due to offices not accepting their different insurance plans, location, or a bad quality of doctors. I switched Danielle 4 times in 7 years! The 1st switch was due to the doctor telling me even after Noah's tests/evaluations that there was nothing wrong with him, rather it was my parenting. The 2nd one told me that I couldn't bring Noah to appointments even though I had no child care, the 3rd one I absolutely loved but he was over an hour away so I'd just end up taking her to the ER which seemed pointless and costly. The last one had me wait over 3 hours just so she could be rude to us; I'm a firm believer in bedside manner. I can fake politeness and I believe anyone else especially in the healthcare field should be able to as well. While it wasn't a deal breaker, I knew I wasn't going to keep a rude pediatrician that my children disliked for the rest of their childhood years even if we had stayed.

I haven't been to this new pediatrician's office so I can't vouch on how great it is but I can say that my friend has had this doctor since her children were born (her oldest is 8) and she loves their office. I can say when I called and explained that I had a child who is autistic and bipolar in which they usually have to have separate pediatricians, she explained that they have a pediatrician who specifically deals with special needs only but if they have siblings who are neurotypical, he's willing to take them on as well. The office takes all of my children's separate insurance plans. I did research him and he got 5 stars across the board!

4. Noah: First off, contrary to what some select individuals believe, Noah is the primary reason we're moving. I've heard it said there are plenty of autistic children that thrive in the area. We're not doubting that. I'm sure they have great services for autism. Unfortunately, after 2 years of trying, that is not the experience we have had. Some forget that our son is bipolar and autistic so it's not cut and dry when it comes to services. For everyone thinking I'm moving just to move, be near my BFF, or there are all these services that I just don't utilize or try: just stop! I've researched resources/services until I'm blue in the face. I'm given lies, the run around, and empty promises. I don't feel anyone would be able to find more services than his doctor, case workers, teachers, and his obsessive mother. Noah's case worker flat out said that if they put autism as one of his diagnoses, they will refuse services to him. Yes, the autism diagnosis that is on his medical file. It's upsetting, disrespectful, and frankly hurts my feelings to hear someone say that the reason we can't find services is because we haven't allowed said person who has no connections nor a special needs child to look for services. Not to mention, I've had certain individuals try to help but the services they referred us to a year ago were a dead end. So to pretend like I've ignored these services so I could say "Hey! Let's move to Tampa, they have better services!" is just ludicrous. When I decided to move to Texas, we didn't make up a story, there's no difference here. I certainly wouldn't be throwing my special needs child under the bus to justify it. The private school options there are worse than the public school ones. The autism schools won't accept him due to him primarily being bipolar. To make it worse, what most schools offer is half school/half home school to cut down on costs for parents but even after the scholarship, we'd still have to fork out $3000-$4000 every school year to deal with more issues than we do with the public school system! Maybe, just maybe... both my husband and I are tired of fighting a fight we know we will never win here. I will not allow my son to get less than adequate services for your well being. To sum this all up: I'm not going to allow you to rain on my parade. If you cannot be on board and supportive for something that is better for our family then simply do NOT be in our life. 

*School
Last year Noah didn't run into as many issues but he was in an autism-based class. At his IEP last year, they changed his placement to EBD (emotionally/behavior delay). His teacher told me last week he's not EBD  though. I had a FISPIT meeting (a meeting we must have before he's approved for any services) in September. I explained Noah had already missed 70% of school from medication changes, behavior, or the teachers constantly calling for early pickup. That's when it was explained the teachers need to go through the proper documenting process for suspension. However, it continued happening. The problem with that is there is no paper trail of his academic problems of staying at school. After he has had 10 suspensions in a school year, they're required by federal law to place him in a more restrictive environment. If this policy had been followed, Noah would have 20+ "suspensions". There are 4 students in Noah's classroom including himself. There is one teacher and 2 aides; Noah usually has an aide/teacher by him but if another student needs help, they can no longer be by him and that's usually when disaster ensues. The area won't provide for one-on-one aides with no exceptions. His teacher informed me that there is no restrictive environment. What that means is that if they had followed proper suspension policy, they would be violating state law more than they already have. His teacher has told me countless times she doesn't know what to do with him and in all her years of teaching she's never had a child this severe. She was actually relying on him being admitted to a residential treatment center which isn't happening. She has just now last month told me that Noah is barely eating his food and refuse to accommodate to a GFCF diet. Their idea of a "cool down" room is a padded room the size of a closet with no window or anything. They have no crisis plan to try to keep him at school. Their Physical/Occupational Therapist observed Noah and agrees he definitely needs OT and PT but they say his IQ (82) is too low to qualify for it. Yes, you read that correctly. My son can't receive needed occupational and physical therapy because his IQ is not high enough. They have a PT/OT (same person) who isn't a part of the school's staff but comes in a few hours a week. Same thing with their therapist except the therapist he was supposed to have back in September has only been to the school twice when Noah was supposed to be receiving counseling/therapy on a weekly basis and he has never seen her. He has never made it past the initial appointment with any therapist ever. He's "seen" approximately 5 therapists. That is 5 chances this area has had to give my son the services he desperately needs but didn't. He also needs ABA therapy but there isn't a provider here that will accept his insurance. They have been promising an in-home behaviorist for over a year now but nothing comes out of it. The only hospital in the area that will accept him is a county-funded one, he went there in September and I refuse to send him there again. They told him that it was a school and if he wasn't good, he'd never see his mommy or daddy anymore. It made him terrified of going back to school, created a huge fear for hospitals which he loved before, and for 2 months following he had massive separation anxiety. We'd have to drive to Tampa anyway the next time he needs an inpatient stay or residential since there's only one residential center in the Jacksonville area which stays full most times.

The new area's public school system has schools that are specifically for special education. They have an entire school that is devoted to EBD (emotional behavior disorder) with an autism class inside so it caters to both needs. They give PT, OT, behavior therapy, counseling, speech, and much more on site without the child having to take off from school to go to other specialists. Their therapists are a part of the staff, not contracted to come in a few hours a week. They will accommodate any diet and even has a dietician on staff. In this new area Noah actually qualifies for 60+ hours of services a week. We will qualify for 20 hours of respite care a week, he has a daycare that only take special needs children (there was no daycare that was even specializing in special needs, they always told me they would "try it out"). The best part is they also have an autism center that is linked to his psychiatrist's office. I am not even technically moved down there yet (we leave tomorrow afternoon) and I already have 3 organizations working with me to get him signed up for all the services he will need. We have 5-6 psychiatrist hospitals to choose from that will take his age range and 4 residential treatment centers. There are literally 20-30 psychiatrists I could go through that accepts his insurance then when my benefits start July 1st with work, it will widen even more. In Jacksonville, I have TWO psychiatrist to choose from. One is by me, the other in Jacksonville.

5. ASHLEY: I'm sure many of you have good friends but I honestly believe she tops any BFF cake. I met Ashley 8 years ago: Dani was a baby and Ashley was a pregnant teen. To pass time of Lonnie's long shifts I created an online teen parenting group. There were 500+ members and Ashley was one of them. We still stayed in contact even after I closed the group constantly chatting and leaning an ear when needed. She was even the first person to know I was pregnant with Noah! A few years later, we finally decided to meet in person. One might think it'd be awkward meeting an online friend but it was natural and easy for us. She was great with Noah and never mentioned his obvious developmental delays. I didn't know it then but that was the start of our growing friendship. She was there through the diagnosing of Noah. She always knew what to say and if she didn't, she said nothing. She'd let me talk endlessly about everything and nothing. She never judged and she became the person I went to because I knew no matter the issue, she'd be there. Last year she drove 4 hours for the kids' birthday party. Noah was at one of his worst moments; he was completely manic, impulsive, and out of control. You couldn't tell from Ashley though. She acted like I do when Noah is having a meltdown: she didn't skip a beat. A lot of people at the party thought she had been around Noah a lot. Nope, this was the first time since he was a baby! For the first time in years, I felt like I had a true friend. She stayed until the party ended and helped me clean up. Since then we have been virtually inseparable. I won't post how much we talk because it's a little embarrassing but let's just say it's a lot. If it wasn't for her, this move wouldn't be possible. I've never had a friend who was so loving, kind, and generous. When my friend Charles died in 2010, I swore I'd never find a friend comparable to him. While I'm not going to compare, I will say sometimes I feel he brought us closer to say "Stephanie, you deserve someone to trust in again".